Where’s Your Passion & Purpose?

passion-heart-and-purposeDo you love what you do?  Does your work feel fulfilling?  Do you feel like the work you do makes a difference or has a positive impact on others?  If so, congratulations!  It sounds like you are working in a career that is in alignment with your values, purpose, and passion.

If not, do you know what your values are?  Do you know your purpose in life?  Do you know what you are passionate about?  Are you doing anything outside of work that might put you in alignment with these things?

Once you knowing your values, passions, and purpose, it is time to line-up the things, people, and activities in your life that align with you.  That is when you start living a very fulfilled life!

If you’d like to start figuring all of this stuff out, I encourage you to DOWNLOAD THE INSTANT WORKSHOP, “Finding My Passion & Purpose in Life, which includes a Values worksheet, Life Purpose worksheet, and a 15 minute guided meditation to help you find your purpose.  It’s a fantastic start to your personal  journey!

Ask for It Upfront!

What Do You Wantn - SmallAsking for what you are looking for upfront is an act of honoring yourself and your own needs when it comes to finding the love of your life.  On many of the FREE Conscious Dating Group Coaching Calls, there is often concern from the participants that if they are upfront about what is important to them, they will upset the other person and I say, “That’s OK.  You now have clarity that this person doesn’t value the same thing(s) you do and you haven’t wasted your time with this person…and you haven’t wasted their time either.”  Sometimes, we get into relationships where we date a person for a few months before we ask these important questions.  Why?

For example, one participant at a speed dating event saw one of my Top Ten Speed Dating Tips and decided to implement that tip during his 15 mini-dates that very night.  While I was there supporting the participants, one woman came up to me very upset that a gentleman had asked her about her political views.  Later on, that same gentleman came to me and stated that he had asked about political views and had upset a few women.  I asked him how important political views were to him, and he stated that it was very important; that he couldn’t be with someone who didn’t share his political views.

While a question like that may upset someone, guess what?  You have your answer!  Many times, because we are too afraid to upset someone, we delay talking about an important value/subject like this and you’ve wasted valuable time and energy with someone who likely wasn’t compatible for you.

Your REQUIREMENTS in a relationship are things that are non-negotiable such as religion, politics, non-drinker, etc.; either that person agrees with your requirement or they don’t.  A requirement is something that is black or white; unlike NEEDS, which are different from REQUIREMENTS, there are no shades of gray in between.  Either they are Jewish, a democrat, and a non-drinker or they aren’t.  Once you know your requirements, it is time to find someone who meets ALL OF YOUR REQUIREMENTS or move on when they don’t because even just one of your requirements not being met will eventually lead to an unsolvable problem in the relationship.  Wouldn’t you want to find out if this might be a problem upfront rather than months or years later?

Listen to a previously recorded Conscious Dating Group Coaching Support Call

Register to participate in the next Conscious Dating Group Coaching Support Call
(Third Monday of every month at 8:30 pm EST, 7:30 CST, 6:30 MST, 5:30 PST)

Money & Your Subconscious…

money-and-your-subconscious-mind1-300x163Do you stress over money?  Not having enough?  Wishing you had more?  Money is charged with emotions and tied to our beliefs!  We have so many emotions and beliefs attached to money that are hanging out in our subconscious.  These things, that we don’t even know are there, hold us back from acquiring the amount of money we wish we had.

For example, I was listening-in on a group coaching call led by another coach and, through the story that another woman was telling, I found one of my own limiting beliefs sitting right there in my subconscious that I never knew I had.  In a nutshell, I found myself recalling a memory of my mom teaching me how to save money.  Whatever money I received from birthday presents, grandparents, etc., I was to put into an old Skippy peanut butter jar that my mom kept in her dresser drawer.

It’s a good lesson, right?  Save your money by putting it away and not spending it!  Well, what I didn’t realize was what this interaction imprinted upon me;  that that I wasn’t allowed to manage my money or I am unable to manage my own money.  Money would always be managed by someone else.  In this case, my mom, who kept my money away from me in her dresser drawer with only the ability to make deposits under her supervision.

And so here I was at age 41 still not really managing my own money.  For me, this was an epiphany.  It wasn’t that I was completely irresponsible with money.  After all, my mother had taught me other great lessons about money.  I paid my bills on-time and put money away for retirement, but I wasn’t very good at saving, budgeting, or planning and someone else has always made the  big money decisions for me (my parents, a financial planner, etc.)

What might be lurking in your subconscious about money? 

What great lessons were you taught that may have given you a false belief that you carry around with you to this day?

By bringing this false belief to my consciousness, I was now able to make a choice about it.  I talked about it with friends and found the program, Quicken, which is awesome!   This software automatically connects to your bank accounts, credit cards, etc. and shows you how much you spend each month in a variety of categories.  It also has a budget planner and a bill reminder.  (Highly recommended for personal banking; not business banking/accounting.)

I started to get clear about what I was spending my money on, and how much, which led me to make some new choices and begin managing my money more consciously.  I have much farther to go in the goal of being a better manager of my money, but the first, small step was becoming aware of my beliefs.

A great book for you to get started on this is “Conscious Money,” by Patricia Auberdene.

Silence

Rocks

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silence = Fear

I’m scared of the silence.

Scared that everything will come bubbling up.

Scared to feel the emotions I’ve shoved down; deep down for so many years; for so many things.

Silence tells the truth.

Silence does not distract.

Silence puts a mirror to your face; a face I sometimes don’t want to look at.

Not out of shame or guilt.

Not out of embarrassment.

If I am silent; if I am truly present in silence, my greatest fear will come true.

My heart will burst.

I will feel raw emotions.

I will be present with the deep, dark crevices of my soul where it is lonely; it feels empty.

The truth is that silence is simply the vehicle that will illuminate the far reaches of my soul.

Silence does not choose the light or the dark.  After all, I am steering.

And once the dark places are illuminated, they are no longer dark.

My heart fears stepping into silence, while my brain knows that silence brings me freedom!

Silence = Freedom

Letters to My Soul…

Dear Soul,

Dear SoulI picked up a book the other day called, Soul Agreements.  I wasn’t looking for a book.  I was actually looking for a meditation CD but, this book seemed to almost jump off the shelf at me.  It talks about how we create the script for our life; our incarnation while we are in spirit form, before we step into these human bodies for a human experience.  It strongly resonates for me; especially after reading the book, Many Lives, Many Masters, several years ago which talks about past lives, spirit guides, and our time in spirit form.

This leads me to so many questions about my life right now; this incarnation and the many incarnations I’ve had before.  While I believe I have found my true passion and purpose in this life as a Life & Relationship Coach, I wonder what lessons and experiences I scripted for myself while I was in spirit.  And what decisions did I make along the way  while in human form that ‘changed the game’ I laid out for myself?  Who are the people who were truly meant to cross paths with me to guide me and/or show me contrast so that I learn the lessons you, my soul, set out for myself?

When working with my clients, the fear of the unknown comes up a lot.  When I begin working with them, the unknown is most often the ‘worst case scenario’ they can conjure up in their heads.  Well, who wouldn’t fear that?  Who would want to step outside of their comfort zone into the unknown if they think it is going to be terrible and awful?  When I introduce that the unknown could be amazing, incredible, or beautiful, they are usually receptive to this idea but not instantly trusting of it.  If the Law of Attraction has a role to play here and, if it is the equivalent of a self-fulfilling prophecy, wouldn’t you want to choose to believe in your own prophecy; something wonderful and step into that?  We become a lot less fearful of the unknown when we default to wonderful instead of terrible!

So what does the unknown have to do with the agreement I made with you (my soul) before I entered into this body?  Well, my current perspective is that the unknown and the unfolding of life is beautiful…..AND….I want to know what happens next!  While I don’t necessarily want to know how it all ends because that would spoil the adventure for me, I do want to have more clarity about some of the bigger events in my life; something to look forward to; to strive toward; to motivate me; inspire me.  Perhaps this is why people see psychics!

So, my dear soul, as I begin to integrate meditation more and more into my life, and I begin to write down my dreams (which is an opportunity to rendezvous with you), I am hoping you will begin to tell me what I have to look forward to, and maybe the lessons I need to be looking out for.  In a metaphor, I feel like a kid at Christmas:  There are all of these presents under the tree and, while I want to tear through all of them at once, I also want to enjoy each of them one at a time.  Yes….I want to have my cake and eat it too!

So, where can you guide me from here?  I know, I know…I need to trust my intuition, I need to meditate more to connect with you on a regular basis, and I need to harness that Law of Attraction and BELIEVE IN what my future holds!  Easier said than done, but I plan on doing it!

P.S.  You are so amazing!

The Power of Limitless Beliefs!

no-limits(The following was a response from an e-mail I sent out about limiting beliefs and dating.)

 

Laura,

This email sparked me to share with you my story of meeting the most wonderful man, man of my dreams actually.  Like you I have a longing to contribute.  

In 2008 I was transitioning into a new life, like many of my friends.  And I was getting tired of my friends moaning about life.  One of them had told me I reminded her of Barbara Sher author of Wishcraft.  I looked her up and she suggested getting groups together to support each other.  So, I invited 3 other girlfriends to form a group where we would support each other in our quest for this transition time of our lives.  After 2 meetings these gals were jazzed and moving forward.  I was supposed to have my “goals” ready for the 3rd meeting.  I didn’t have a clue, and here I was the facilitator.   Sher suggested if you were stuck to write your dream day out.   I asked Spirit to send me some inspiration…I was not receiving the messages…So just like in school, I did my homework the night before.  I sat quietly, then from that quiet space I typed my ideal day.  I had no notion of what would come out.  I wrote that the man I love was already at his boat shop when I awoke at 6am.  (no idea where that came from) I also wrote that I was a life coach teaching Creativity workshops.  (didn’t really know about life coaches)  ….well you know that I went to CTI (Coaches Training Institute), and Memorial Day 2010 I went to the open house of the sailing club I belong to, I made an inquiry for my old boyfriend as to who knew about single-handed sailboats.  Now I had just broken up with this guy 2 weeks before telling him that I knew what I wanted and this relationship was not providing that.  During the open house event I took a break, sat on a bench, someone came over and sat next to me and I felt a woosh of energy.  He said Hi, someone told me you were looking for me.  It was Mark (the man of my dreams) within 5 minutes of our introducing ourselves, he mentions “when I retire I’m going to have a boat shop.”  It took a little time before I realized the woosh was “He’s here, the guy in your ideal day.”  

I may have many of those limiting beliefs at one time, but when I came into the space of getting in touch with what I was really wanting.  (btw that’s the other part of the story…I was learning about Abraham teachings and Law of Attraction.)  With the previous boyfriend I was experiencing lots of “contrast–what I don’t want.”  So each time I experienced contrast, I listened to my heart and translated the contrast into statements of what I do want.  (in a qualitative, feeling way) I found that list about 3 weeks after I met Mark.  Wow!  He was the list.  (btw the list wasn’t simple like handsome, smart, rich.  It told a story of how we were together, “he is intelligent and his intelligence adds so much to the understanding of me and our relationship.)  

So, use contrast to help focus on what’s valuable and write it down/tell the story.

Ahhh this was a nice stroll down memory lane.  Thanks for your email.  Best of Life to you!

 

Peace, Blessings & Joy (PB & J),

Lisa Kreischer

Vows…..The Kind You Can Keep

I Promise

I’ve never been married.  While I’ve always wanted to be married or in an extremely committed relationship; it simply hasn’t turned out that way…yet!

About 6 years ago, my mother came across a book that she wanted to make sure I had read:  Lies at The Alter, by Robin L. Smith.  She wanted me to have a more realistic perspective regarding marriage and vows or, as she used to say, “Do as I say, not as I Do.”  She was doing her best to make sure I avoided the mistakes/mis-perceptions she had made in life.

In a nutshell, the book describes how the traditional vows and promises we make are nearly impossible for us to keep.  For instance:

 

 

TRADITION VOW #1:  For richer, for poorer…
TRUTH #1:  As she states in her book, ” The major lie couples tell themselves about money is that it isn’t an issue at all.”

TRADITIONAL VOW #2:  In sickness and in health…
TRUTH #1:  “Few couples take the time (or wish to take the risk) to clearly define the implication of this vow before their marriage.”  Does this include weight?  Will you stay with me if I let my health go or does this only apply to diseases?

There is so much great truth in that book that I read so long ago.  So much that it made me decide that when I get married or seriously commit my life with someone, we would write our own vows creating a marriage or commitment that was clear, real and honest for the two of us.  Since my significant other hasn’t magically appeared in my living room yet, I have been focusing a lot of time and energy on dating; something I had put on the back burner for the last 4 years while I was focused on building my business.

Recently, while I was laying around holding the couch down  (yes…in my living room where Mr. Right still has not magically appeared) going in and out of consciousness while watching too much OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network), I thought to myself, perhaps Mr. Wonderful hasn’t appeared because I’ve been blocking myself.  Maybe I need to make myself clear on what I am willing to commit to?  So, I began to write my vows as I see them now.  This is a very rough draft and, when Mr. Wonderful jumps into my life, we can clarify these together.

MY ROUGH DRAFT VOWS

1.  I vow to make our relationship my top priority after my relationship with myself.  (After all, if I am not clear for myself, how can I be available to truly contribute to the relationship?)

2.  I vow to do my absolute best to be truthful with myself and my feelings so that I can be truthful with you.

3.  I vow to do my best to communicate my expectations and needs so that you have an opportunity to meet them.

4.  I vow to do my best in asking you about and meeting your needs and expectations, and to support you so that you always feel loved and that I’ve got your backside.

5.  I vow to do my best to be there to simply listen, be understanding, and compassionate to where you are and what you need in that moment rather than offer-up my knowledge and wisdom to solve a problem you are not looking to have solved.

6.  I vow to do my best to not judge you or fight to be right.  (And not keep score.)

7.  I vow to do my best to respect you and honor your wishes, even when I may disagree.

8.  I vow to do my best to take ownership of my own happiness and don’t expect you to carry the burden or responsibility of making me happy.

9.  I vow to do my best to be positive & grateful and celebrate things big and small with you.

10.  I vow to love you in the best way I know how and in the ways that make you feel loved.

 

Has this got you thinking?

What do you vow?

Be bold….share your marriage wisdom with others, or your own vows in the comments below!

Or, simply share this link with a friend…

Denver, Here I Come!

What a difference a month makes!  It just goes to show that you never know what might be waiting for you around the corner!

What the ‘Unknown’ became

Since I last wrote about the ‘Unknown regarding Denver, things began to fall into place.  I found a tenant for my townhouse who started their lease on October 1st, I found an apartment in the Denver area that lets a lot of that Denver sunshine in, friends helped me move furniture and pack my pod, and I have started some clients with the new Singles Relationship Coaching I just added to my practice!  Writing all of this to you from my new mountain paradise leaves me more than excited for this new chapter I am creating here in Denver.

The Challenges

Now, while it all sounds like sunshine and roses, let me be clear that while everything fell into place, it was not without its challenges; mainly financial challenges.  For instance, an oil change for my car turned into fluid changes, inspections, etc., which meant hundreds of dollars instead of $30-$50!  Oh, and they said that I need new tires…all four!  (An even bigger chunk of change!)  Those bills hit me just before I left for Denver to find an apartment.  Once I got back from Denver, I was hit with major expenses for my town home; a new hot water heater and a new patio door.  Yes, let me go pluck some money from My Money Tree!

Truthfully, I really cannot complain.  I have a nice little apartment (and I do mean little) 15 miles outside of Denver.  While I am in my apartment, I have to remind myself that I am actually here in Denver however, when I drive my car to and begin to exit my subdivision, that view of the Rocky Mountains takes my breath away every time!

So, what does your paradise look like and are you ready to start moving in that direction?  Share your comments below!  Sometimes even writing something like that out on a public forum is a small step toward your dream!  Will you take that baby step?

(Image from Photoree.com)

 

 

My Money Tree

The Challenges outlined in ‘Denver, Here I Come  and all of that money flying out the door started me on a path to begin changing my thinking about money!  I am a firm believer in the Law of Attraction so I took a good look at what I was REALLY feeling and thinking about money and noticed that I was being very fearful and holding my thoughts and feelings in a place where I was feeling a ‘lack of’ money.  YUCK!  I don’t like feeling that way and I don’t like having a ‘lack of’ money.  So, what do I do?

I began talking with friends about their feelings about money.  Unsurprisingly, they had very similar feelings so, we all started working on this together!  Here’s some of the new thoughts and new ways of looking at money that we shared with each other.  Now I am sharing them with you:

1.  Money is a tool
2. Money = Fun Tickets!
3. Spending money is fun!  (It REALLY is!)  🙂
4. When I pay my bills or hand cash over to a cashier I say, or think to myself, “Bye bye money!  See ya soon!”
5. When I receive money – “Hello money!  You’re back!”
6. When I receive money I need to begin thinking “What can I invest in?”  “What should I save this for?”
7.  I am a money magnet!

Now, I know that some of this sounds a bit goofy, and it is, but it works, if you stay focused on being positive about money!  For example, I was meeting a friend for lunch so that I could see them before I left town.  I was still feeling a ‘lack of’ money and feeling anxious about spending money on a lunch when I clearly should be more focused on saving it with my impending move to Denver,  but I felt it was more important to have that connection time with my friend.  So, I went to lunch determined to enjoy spending my money.  I even planned to say to myself, “How wonderful that I have the money to enjoy lunch with a friend.”  So, I went to the restaurant repeating this phrase in my head only to find out that my friend decided to buy me lunch!  Do you see how funny the universe can be?  This makes me even more determined than ever to change my thought habits around money each time I am doing any sort of transaction, discussion, planning, etc. around money.

I’ve also had set-backs regarding my thoughts around money.  For instance, during a discussion regarding my move to Denver someone said to me, “How are you going to pay for everything?”  At first, I thought, “They’re right!  How the heck am I going to pay for everything?”  It wasn’t until a day later that I became conscious of this thought and re-directed my thoughts and energy around money to be more positive.

I’m still working on what I should say or think when using my credit card because it simply has a much different feeling than cash or even a debit card!

What are your thoughts?  Do you have any limiting beliefs regarding money?  (ie: I won’t ever be a millionaire; I don’t need a ton of money; money is the root of all evil…)

Help us all out!  Share your comments below!  When you share, we all learn!

 

 

Inspiration is My Drug

I’m not going to lie.  The day I left the Chicago area was REALLY tough.  I had to say goodbye to my family and closest friends; the people who are closest to me; the people who support me and have my backside; the people who know me better than most.  I had to say goodbye and go to a place where I didn’t know anyone, I didn’t have a job lined-up, and a place where I have absolutely no support system.  I was balling like a baby!  It was physically painful and REALLY made me second guess my decision to move to Denver.  When I finally got the car packed and pulled out of the driveway, I had to force myself to remain focused on why I wanted all of this in the first place.  That, and I had to focus on my cat.  He thought we were going to the vet!

Iggy, my cat, whom I affectionately refer to as my ‘live stuffed animal,’ was literally on my shoulders behind my head in the car as we pulled out onto I-294 to head South.  It wasn’t until I hit I-80 (about an hour later) that I think he realized that he wasn’t going to the vet and he finally found a comfortable place and settled-in.  From that point on, time and distance melted away the awful feeling that I had just ripped my family apart from me, and began replacing that feeling with excitement and hope.

Iggy and I arrived at our new home after 2 days on the road and, after about a week, we were pretty much settled in.  I was in Denver about one week and putting away some of my serving dishes when I received a phone call from a former colleague.  She and I had worked together as business coaches in a group we formed called Unified Coaching Concepts.  The group still exists, but she and I had long ago exited the group to pursue our more focused passions.  For me, life & relationship coaching.  For her, being a yoga instructor.

Her phone call surprised me because we hadn’t spoken in about 1-2 years.  Why she called also surprised me.  It seems that my choice of moving to Denver (and being very public about it) has had her thinking about doing the exact same thing.  I had no idea she was following what I was doing, nor did I have any idea that Denver was something she would ever consider.  She wanted to know why I decided to move to Denver and how the move was going.  Well, the ‘why’ part was very simple…I did not want to become 80 years old (which I think will happen in the blink of an eye), look back, and regret that I never moved to the mountains.  I think that answer may have pushed her over her own fence.  We had quite a long talk and, while she was appreciative that I took the time to chat with her about her own impending decision to move, I could not hold back on the gift she had just given to me!

You see, inspiring others is my passion and, when she called, I was personally in that place of uncertainty.  You know, that little devil on my shoulder was whispering doubt into my ear all week:  “You’re too far away from family!  What are you going to do if you broke your foot and needed someone to help you?  How are you going to make ends meet?  Do you really think you can pull this off?”  Her phone call knocked that little devil right off my shoulder, silenced him, and reinforced my decision to move to Denver even more!  Inspiring others is my drug, and she had just given me a big, old high!  (Now, even though Colorado just made 1 oz. of pot legal, I have not indulged, and it was certainly not my reason for moving here.)

Thank you, my friend (you know who you are), for letting me know how my journey has influenced you.  Your phone call was a gift and I hope that you find the courage to step outside of your comfort zone and make a choice that is right for yourself; a choice that you won’t regret when you turn 80 and look back at your life wondering if you have done all of the things that you really wanted to do!

What do you want to make sure you have done by the time you are 80?  Share some of your bucket list items in the comments below.  Maybe your comments will inspire someone else!