Going on a Date with Someone New?


Do yourself a favor — do some detective work on your own!

Here’s how! Dating is a process where a two people meet, go somewhere socially and get to know each other. Sounds benign right?  Not exactly. This is the day and age of crazy $%#*&@. Strange things can and do happen all the time. Hackers make their living breaking into computer systems, identity theft – one of the newer and more serious crimes – is as common as peanut butter and jelly. And, with the internet being used to source anything from arm candy to a full-fledged relationship – who knows what you’re in for. Chicago’s NorthShoreInsider.com met with Bruce Graham, a licensed private detective and owner of ETS Investigative services. While Bruce and his team have historically been used by lawyers for assistance in the areas of skiptracing, civil litigation, personal injury, marital surveillance, and criminal defense work, more recently Bruce’s practice has been growing with regard to primarily women asking for information about men they’re dating. Here’s the topline on how to play Sherlock Holmes at home while you’re dating:

  1. Adopt a “Wits About You” Attitude: Don’t worry about being a little extra cautious and seeming a bit paranoid. Use the same good judgment with yourself that you would with your child going to a new person’s house. Find out the vitals – name, home address and home phone number, date of birth and where your date works.
  2. Google your date. This might sound obvious – but you’d be absolutely amazed at what you can find. Also check out My Space and/or Facebook– these sites are just as popular, if not more so, with the over 35 crowd as they are with the college-set and twenty-somethings.
  3. Take Your Own Wheels. While chivalry is not dead – save it for down the road when you feel more secure. Always have your own transportation and extra cash in the event you get a funny feeling about your date – or just have had enough.
  4. Dig a little bit. If your date is a professional check out any of the associations he/she would belong to. Ask a friend in that industry if they can help you find out about your date.
  5. …Where Everybody Knows Your Name. Not literally but pretty close. Plan to meet where you are recognized. Or call ahead and share your situation with the Maitre D. A bartender, hostess or waiter who knows you can put your date on notice. That alone offers you a degree of added safety.
  6. Red Flags. If any of these signs show up on your date proceed with caution. Evasiveness – not answering your questions and deflecting information. Not being able to reach him or her by phone or text, or not being where they said they’d be. What they told you is NOT adding up.

Whether you’re new to the dating world or re-entering it, these practical tips can help you or someone you know reduce concern or avoid future heartache – leaving more opportunity for a good time. And, if you are at all suspicious about someone you’re involved with, check them out – why wait? If you need assistance, contact: Bruce D. Graham, LPD, MSW Vice President, www.internationaltrace.com Life Coach – The Distinguished Coach Mobile 847 401-3438