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Take a look at your life right now…at this point on your journey through life. What risks are you taking/not taking for yourself? What is it that you fear the most? What is so scary about it? Get into those deep, dark areas and shine some light in there. After all, once you shine the light in there, it’s no longer dark.
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It’s been really tough trying to honor you lately. There are so many people in my life who don’t agree with, or could never make the kind of choices I am making. I’ve had to struggle with honoring relationships that are extremely important to me while also trying to honor you at the same time. I realize that I cannot do both. In the past, I’ve honored their choices however, that resulted in me never really being happy and sometimes harboring some resentment toward them, even though I know I am responsible for my own choices. Now that I have learned how important it is to take care of myself and make choices that are right for me, my choice is to always honor my soul first. Now, with my current circumstances, that means important people around me may not be very happy with me right now. I know that, in time, they will be able to see how I am honoring myself and perhaps gain the courage they need to do the same for themselves. After all, if I don’t honor you, who will?
Share your letter to your soul….Post it in the “Leave a Reply” box below.
Let’s face it. We cannot always deal with our emotions when they come screaming at us. Sometimes we have to put them aside and get through the moment until we can breathe again and deal with them later. The problem is that later never comes. Instead, we seem to shove our emotions down into the deep, dark crevices of our bodies…locked away, never to be seen or heard from again. We put ‘Caution’ tape around them and treat them like a crime scene; a ‘no go’ zone. STAY AWAY is stamped on the outside. Truthfully, we hope to never have to deal with them again. So…how’s that working for you?
What Do You Manifest?
Of course, in the short term, it works extremely well to shove our emotions deep down inside so that we can plow through traumatic moments in our lives. But do you also practice this with the smaller every day conflicts or daily challenges? I’ll be the first to admit that I DO! …And it’s not working well for me! When we shove our emotions away, they remain locked in our bodies looking for a way out…and they will come out eventually! If we don’t shine light on them, they will find a way to be released from our bodies. For me, it’s all about eating lots of sweets or overeating. For others, it could manifest as drinking, smoking, or doing drugs. Or, perhaps you don’t do any of those things, but you are sick a lot, have health issues, or have a disease. Hmmm…Did you know that disease is exactly that…DIS – EASE? Your body is screaming at you to let these emotions out, yet you are terrified of what you are going to experience if you do.
Fear & Expectations
What will happen if I actually process my emotions? What will happen if I go down to that deep, dark place? I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to cry, get angry, feel insecure, or depressed. It’s VERY SCARY to ‘go there.’ It is scary to even think about feeling anything but numb. I don’t want to put myself in such a vulnerable position, so let’s just stay numb, OK?
Well, staying numb is an option however, don’t forget that your emotions are still manifesting in some negative way. Fear is a very powerful thing! We can let it have power over us, or we can choose to harness the power of fear in a positive way. It all boils down to your expectations. For instance, if you envision a terrible outcome, chances are you’ll have a terrible outcome. Contrarily, if you envision a positive outcome, guess what? The truth is, whatever you are looking for, you’ll find it! And if for those of you who don’t know what to expect (fear of the unknown), make-up something good!
For instance, if you expect that processing the emotions you’ve shoved down around a person’s death will be extremely painful and make you feel more stuck/trapped and even worse in the long run, I could understand why you would want to avoid it. Contrarily, if you expect that processing those emotions may be a bit tough at first but very liberating in the end, why wouldn’t you want to feel that freedom which can now allow you to move forward?
Shining the light
So what if you start shining the light on those deep, dark places? After all, when you shine the light, those places are no longer dark. AHA! Illumination = freedom! Don’t you want to feel free? Or would you rather hold yourself in the place of fear; numbness? When you address the emotions that you’ve harbored for so long, it is a very freeing and liberating experience. How about focusing on manifesting THAT feeling? Does that work better for you?
Six Steps to Moving Forward
So, now you’ve decided to take that first step and shine the light on those feelings you buried long ago. Here are some steps you can take to illuminate the darkness and step into the lightness and freedom:
Step One: Identify the feeling(s) you are contending with. Are you mad, hurt, frustrated, overwhelmed, scared, fearful, angry, resentful, unappreciated, under-valued, disappointed, or doubtful of yourself? Perhaps you feel all or many of these feelings? Write a statement about how you feel and do not worry about editing your emotions. Seriously, write it down! Writing helps to remove the feeling from your body. It is no longer in your body if it is on paper or a computer screen. If you are not a writer, use a recording device. Your phone, your computer or, for those of us who’ve been around for a while, your tape recorder! It also allows you to go back someday and see how far you’ve come! Heck, use a combination of all of those devices! The point is to get those emotions out!
EXAMPLE: I am numb. I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I cannot move.
Step Two: Ask yourself some questions about the way you feel. Dig a little deeper into your feelings. What are you mad about? What are you disappointed about? What, exactly, do you fear? Write/record it.
EXAMPLE: I am numb when it comes to dealing with my divorce. I am numb because I am overwhelmed by everything and feel like I need to shut down. I am overwhelmed by the combination of multiple emotions (frustration, anger, helplessness, worry, concern ), along with the added responsibilities of the logistics of a divorce and the big decisions I need to make that will affect my future and the future of my kids.
Step Three: Get tough with yourself. What’s holding you back from moving forward? Ask yourself questions like: What do I really want? What am I resisting? What is it to surrender?
EXAMPLE: I am holding myself back from moving forward. I am resisting change. I need to surrender to being out of control of everything and trust that I will be able to handle everything. What I really want is peace and harmony. I want to be at peace with my decisions and how I am handling things as the divorce process continues. I want to know that I made the best decisions I could make for me and my kids and that I handled my divorce with integrity.
Step Four: Brainstorm with wreck less abandonment. You’ve identified how you feel and what might be holding you back. Now figure out where you want to be and brainstorm some ideas to get you there. Don’t worry about how you’ll implement those ideas such as how to pay for something or obtaining certain resources you don’t currently have like time, money, education, etc. When you brainstorm without boundaries/limitations you begin to uncover tangible ideas that excite you and you may have never thought possible before. So write down EVERY IDEA that comes to you, even if it is silly or ridiculous. NO PRE-JUDGEMENT. Often it is those silly or ridiculous ideas that you end up implementing!
– Ask for help
– Create/find a support system
– Schedule time-off for me to relax and do some of the things that bring peace & harmony
– Read a book
– Get a massage
– Go for a long run
– Take the kids to Disneyworld!
– Implement new family traditions that create peace and harmony
Step Five: Choose a path and take a small step. Pick one of the ideas from your brainstorming and come up with a small step you can take to begin implementing the idea that will take you where you want to be. It could be something as simple as making a phone call to a friend.
Step Six: REPEAT. Yes, repeat the process but remain flexible in your journey. You’ve taken one small step toward illumination and freedom…and where you want to be. Sometimes it takes several small steps but you are on your way!
In The Yikes! Zone ~ Mermer Blakeslee
With the metaphor of downhill skiing, Mermer Blakeslee breaks down the anatomy of fear in a thrilling way that allows readers to better understand their own fears. This is a book you will want to study!
If you’ve ever been to a LifeQuest Alliance workshop, you’ve learned about values and probably heard an example used regarding the checkout line at the grocery store. Well, this Sheriff’s Deputy clearly has not been to a workshop and just wasn’t aware of the values that the pregnant woman might have been stepping on. If he was, he probably wouldn’t have pulled a gun…